Rank My Top Four Girls in Case I get Dumped and this Blog makes me a Celeb

Posted: January 20, 2012 in Dan Price White

I’m kind of going hard on this blog, working on it from about 9 p.m. to 11 on the reg. And I figured once it gets so popular that I’m basically a celeb I need to have options on who I marry on the rebound when my current girlfriend calls it all off.

First of all, I think she reads this blog so she’s getting a first-hand look at my nerdiness, not¬†a good look at all, so this little helpful poll will let my readers help me decide who to stalk/go after on the rebound once I hit pseudo celeb status.

The Players:

Elisha Cuthbert. I’ve been sweating this girl since the days of “The Girl Next Door”, ever since that masterpiece I’ve been game for watching whatever she appears in. Blonde hair for the win.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Selena Gomez. Disney tries to play it safe with all the child-friendly programming, when in reality the channels sole purpose is to introduce¬†the world¬†to future hotties in the celeb game¬†(Miley, Selena, Demi, uhhhh¬†that Raven chick???). But you tell me that no one over 21 watches¬†Wizards of Waverly¬†Place and I’ll point at you and call you¬†a liar. Also smooth work by Gomez to act like she’s dating Bieber. Biebs ain’t got that¬†kind of game, just a little scrawny kid following around Selena.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Avril Lavigne. The sentimental choice, considering we fell in love for the first time back in 2002 when I got my license and would cruise around just listening to that Sk8ter¬†Boy cd on repeat. Avril’s still putting out the hits to this day and I bet¬†has a ton of money to help my upgrade to WordPress¬†Pro (like¬†$90) for¬†The PriceIsWhite.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rachel McAdams. The safe pick. McAdams is the chick that chicks say is attractive. Like all girls that read this are going to hate on Lavigne¬†and say Selena is too young, yada, yada,¬†yada, but they’ll all be like, “Ooooohh, Rachel McAdams is so pretty and so good in The Notebook”. Then they’ll quote something from¬†Mean Girls and basically give me a¬†blessing to marry her.

So there you have it,¬†my four¬†picks for when I encounter heart-break and fight through the pain by starting a celeb power couple with the winner of this poll.¬†Hopefully my lady will realize this is all sarcasm and a joke. And she is welcome to start a blog and¬†make a “How much hotter are these guys than my boyfriend Poll” with¬†Jake G, Jude Law and some other studs.

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Comments
  1. If your girlfriend dumps you then maybe put me on the list because I think this post is adorable.

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